Sometimes the shit life throws at me gets HEAVY!!

Written by Esther Gold

One sad thing about life is, nobody ever really knows how much anyone else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is broken and we wouldn’t even know it.

A little communication goes a long way, don’t be too busy to check up on your friends and loved ones. Always try to say a word or two to them. Even the strongest people in the world sometimes need people to talk to, while others find it difficult to let people know what they’re going through or battling with for the fear of being mocked, others wouldn’t die in silence, so at a point, they open up.

In recent times we’ve had cases of people committing suicide, we’ve had people jumping into lagoons and all of that, just maybe no one cared enough to know what they were going through.

Few weeks ago i was 100% depressed, it was the first of its kind, i needed someone to talk to, the only friend i knew could lift my spirit with his words was busy in church but promised to call immediately after service. I went through my Facebook list and stumbled on a friend i felt i could talk to. I told him how depressed i was and told him why i needed to see a counselor immediately. He invited me over for lunch, did all he could to make me forget all what i was going through and at some point brought a girl to me for counseling… He told her i was going to give her a better response than him, he left us and we got talking… I felt relieved, why did he have to trust me that much… Hmmmmm!

Before bringing the girl to me, he had told me how strong a lady i was, told me i was a source of inspiration to many and had no reason to give up.. Gosh!!! And then he added, Esther if you didn’t tell me what you were going through, trust me i wouldn’t know.. Most of us see you as one strong lady who goes through nothing😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂. (This one off me). I was so relieved and said only one thing to myself. “Hey I’m not broken, I’m cracked”.

Well, i don’t think anyone really understands how tiring it is to act okay and always be strong when in reality you are close to the edge. Even when my laugh was the ugliest, i still had the audacity to laugh at everything. Haba for the fact that i exist means “I MATTER”.
Everything that’s hit me in my life i’ve dealt with on my own. I’ve cried myself to sleep, picked myself back up and wiped my tears. I have grown from things that were meant to break me. I get stronger by the day and have GOD to thank for that.

Shout out to women who haven’t felt like themselves lately, but you get up everyday and refuse to quit; stay strong!!!

About the author

Esther Gold

Esther Gold is the Publisher of Digitalaina cum Librarian. She's a social media influencer who is passionate about what she does.

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